Swear word replacements

Ever have those days when you just want to blabber out every swear word you know but can't because your parents, teachers, and/or friends would just go "ASDFGHJKL; YOU CAN'T SWEAR AGH YOU'RE A HORRIBLE PERSON BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH"

Well, I have the solution.  Silly replacements!  Here they are.

F*ck = fluff
Sh*t = snickerdoodle
D*mn = dumpling
A*s = archaeologist
B*tch = blubber

For example-

"Snickerdoodle, have you seen that fluffer? He's got a fluffing hot archaeologist!"
"I don't give a fluff!"
"Dumpling!!!"
"You're so full of snickerdoodle."
"You little blubber!"
"He's so fluffing hot!"
"I want to be his little blubber."
"Sometimes life just feels like a pile of snickerdoodle."

I made these replacements because it's fun and weird and instead of making people cringe or blow up at you, it just might make them smile because of the weirdness.

And, for your amusement until I return with a new post, here are some cat GIFs that will make you smile.  Feast your eyes upon the hilariousness.